What Fashion Means to Me

I remember a time when receiving a sweater as a gift felt like the most boring, gray thing that could happen. I was of course very young, and my grandmother would often encourage fashion and clothing as worthy gifts. It didn’t matter — my 10 year old brain wanted the Nintendo Wii instead.

Now, looking back on that period of my life, I’m genuinely amazed by how much I love fashion now (thanks Grandma!), and I now realize how integral fashion has become to my sense of self and confidence.

A change happened during my senior year of high school, when I started experimenting with my footwear as a way to appear more eye-catching to girls (because why else?) Sneakers all of a sudden felt like integral pieces to investigate, as did dress shoes and boots. Little did I know of any sense of balance in my outfits, and I had no idea how to dress appropriately for different situations. I say this because I thought it was a good idea to start wearing loafers to school with my baggy jeans and ill-fitted J. Crew t-shirts. For 2014, this definitely looked out of place.

Shifting forward to my college years, and my exploration of fashion started to gain momentum. I paid more attention to the clothes people wore, looked to celebrities for style inspiration, and wondered if the clothes on my body actually looked right. Being a short, slim guy, this last factor became ultra important to me as I obsessed over fit and proportion.

All of these articles of clothing became appealing all of a sudden; I moved from navy, waffled cardigans with a shawl collar to black skinny jeans from American Eagle and Levi’s. Crewneck sweaters from J. Crew were my everything. Oxford shirts became a simple, yet cool way to tap into a preppy and minimalist look. I gained more of an interest in watches, an interest that had already been developing for years due to my dad’s own lifelong interest in the hobby.

And there were certain items that I grew attached to. Being a fan of the Adidas Superstars as a kid, the Stan Smiths became a holy grail item to me my junior year in college. I swear, my first white pair with a navy accent went into the trenches as I studied abroad in Italy and traveled the continent, knowing I could rely on them for any situation from hiking in Edinburgh to wandering the streets of Paris for hours on end. Those things never failed me.

Clothing quickly became a way to grow confidence in my own image. It was controllable. However, it also fed into a dark side of me. Being short at 5'4,” I worried relentlessly about my image — especially to girls. I often felt too small and feared that the clothing I wore would make me look worse. I would try on multitudes of brands to figure out which ones flattered my body, but instead of being a fun exploration of fabric and silhouette, it became a quest to make up for perceived shortcomings in my body.

It would take a few years to develop a healthier relationship to my body, and to turn fashion back into a source of confidence instead of shame. By that time, I had developed a far better understanding of what looked good on me, and of what types of clothing I preferred to wear. And once you develop that understanding you can really begin to explore.

Fashion is fun for me, and it provides an ongoing sense of exploration for my own identity. I enjoy trying on different styles and experimenting. I still prefer a minimalist, preppy-meets-rugged look with a mixture of sweaters, cropped jackets, slim and skinny jeans, and the occasional peppering in of sporty items. It’s amazing to see men’s fashion moving into a more open, experimental phase (especially considering how men’s fashion, particularly with more effeminate looks like heels, used to represent power and status for French royalty — truly a far cry compared to the baggy jeans and oversized t-shirts of the aughts.)

For anyone who is skeptical of experimenting with their fashion, it’s worth it. You gain a greater sense of self, you begin to look more put together, and you learn to embrace your own unique individuality because that’s where true fashion lies. Fashion is meant to be about the image you project, and the clothing you wear communicates a lot about your person. And most importantly, it’s fun.